Campfire Geeks II: Ski Lodge Geeks
by Natsyourlord
Summary: The long awaited sequel to Campfire Geeks! After winning a radio contest, Ino takes everybody up to a Ski Lodge. As Hinata is struck by lightning and Gaara falls in love, more than one person will be horribly altered as the insanity continues! Ch. 10 UP!
1. It's Happening Agaaaaaaaaaain!

Alright. This is for real. Not a joke. I got so bored that I just decided to post the first chapter 3 months early, all for your own amusement! HURRAY! (PS: The test thing got too hard to keep track of.)

Okay, people. I know how eager you all are to read... DO-DOOOOOO! Campfire Geeks II: Ski Lodge Geeks! YAAAAY! Alrighty. So, let's get it on! WOOT! Bam! BOOSH!

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, there would be little diabolical hamsters of doom running all over the place. But I don't and there's not. So too bad for me. XD

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_...So the winner for a free pass for themselves and a random number of guests to Sir Auron's Ski Resort of Doom will be chosen now! The one hundreth caller will win! And the phone lines are open now! Start calling!_

"Sakura, call the station! CALL THE STATION!" screamed Ino in Sakura's ear. Sakura winced.

"Ino, I thought you didn't want to go out into the mountains ever since Kakashi-sensei plagued us with those hamsters!" Sakura exclaimed, recalling the horrible memory. "Why would you want to now?"

Ino sighed, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Because, this is _skiing,_ Sakura. And everyone knows that hamsters can't ski! So we're safe! Now, GIVE ME THAT PHONE!" Ino grabbed the telephone from Sakura and dialed the radio station's number at light speed. After a few seconds, the radio said, _Well, it looks like we have our winner! We'll be putting them on the line now. Hello, can you hear me, prize winner?_

Ino squealed incredibly loudly, and then said into the phone, "Yeah, I can hear you! WEE!"

_And what is your name?_

"Yamanaka Ino."

_Well, Ino, how do you feel about winning these passes?_

"I feel like I'm not going to get attacked by hamsters!"

_uhm... Okay... And who are you going to invite with you to the ski resort?_

"Well, I guess my friend Sakura, even though she doesn't DESERVE it, and some other people... Probably Hyuuga Neji and Hyuuga Hinata, and Uzumaki Naruto because I've heard he snowboards really well. And Uchiha Sasuke, because he's, well, hot, and my teammates Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chouji. Oh, and Kiba Inuzuka because he has such a cute puppy dog, Akamaru, And maybe his friend Shino so that Kiba wont be so annoying, and Hyuuga Neji's teammates Rock Lee and Tenten. Tenten, because she's cool, and I don't know why I'm inviting Lee, I just... dont know. Oh, and the Sand Siblings, because we owe them one for destroying everything, which is, I don't know, _cool,_ and-"

_Are you done yet?_

"Um... yes?"

_Good! You and your friends will be picked up in a large black bus of Doom - I mean, Fun - this Friday. So get packing!_

Ino squealed, and threw the reciever into the cradle. "Sakura! Sakura! We're going skiing! HOORAY!" She began doing a little dance. On top of something on the floor.

The something was Sakura.

Sakura had fallen asleep out of pure boredom.

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"ALRIGHT, PEOPLE! LINE YOUR SORRY BUTTS UP!" screamed Tsunade into a megaphone. "JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING SKIING AT A SKI RESORT OF DOOM - I MEAN, FUN - DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE NICE ON THE BUS TRIP!" She pointed at the door to a Greyhound bus and began shoving all the shinobi in. Once they were inside, Tsunade jumped into the driver's seat, Anko climbed in right after her, and then Tsunade floored it with an evil cackle. All the poor, helpless shinobi clutched their seats for dear life while the bus sped off at an alarming pace.

Unfortunately, it wasn't fast enough to keep away from Gai.

"WAIT!" Gai yelled, running alongside the bus. "LET ME ON! IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS YOUTHFUL, **LET ME ON!**" He made an almighty leap and clung to the bus, inching his way into the door.

The kids screamed.

Lee cried.

Anko barked orders.

Tsunade cackled again.

And then the bus came to a sudden, jolting stop.

Gai was flung off the side of the bus into a line of trees, screeching like a little girl. Tsunade was still laughing while slamming her fist on the horn repeatedly. The kids in the back had all been clinging onto each other for dear life, and were now sprawled across the seats, still screaming.

"Would you shut up!" yelled Anko from the front of the bus. "I'm _trying_ to enjoy the sight of Gai dangling from a tree by his underwear, but it's nearly impossible with your bellowing in the background!" She took a huge handful of popcorn from a bucket in her lap, stuffed it in her mouth, and chewed on it, turning back to Gai.

"She's crazy," muttered Chouji.

"I am not, fatty!" Anko yelled, spitting out little flecks of popcorn and saliva. Chouji stared at her for a moment, then roared, "I AM NOT A FATTY! I'M PLEASANTLY PLUMP! RAAAAGH!" He began chasing after Anko, who ran off, stuffing enormous fistfuls of popcorn into her mouth as she ran.

Tsunade sighed, finally done cackling. "Yes, well... let's go." She glared at everyone as they cautiously slid into their crash positions.

Then the bus went speeding off again.

"YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" screeched Tsunade. "THIS IS VERY PLEASANT! I WILL DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN! AND TORTURE THE CHILDREN! YA-HA!"

_In the back of the bus..._

"When will it end?" wailed Naruto. "This is... oh, I don't know what it is! But it's not fun, that's for sure!" He clung to his luggage tightly, as though strangling it might save him from Tsunade's insane driving.

"Shut up, Naruto." glared Neji, who somehow managed to sit perfectly still in his seat as the bus screamed across the highway continuing its rampage of insanity, arms folded over his chest. "You're not cool enough to be worried."

Then why aren't _you _worried, if you're so cool?" asked Naruto.

"Because I'm too cool to be worried."

"But I - wait... what?"

Neji stared at Naruto for a long moment. "Destiny is everything." Naruto shrank back, horrified. "NOOOOO! DESTINY WILL NOT OVERTHROW MEEEEEEEE!"

Suddenly the bus screeched to a halt. Everyone was flung up to the front of the bus, where they splatted on the windshield. Tsunade grinned.

"Okay, everybody OUT!" she yelled, throwing the whole lot of them, luggage and all, out of the bus. She quickly locked the door. Then she sped away in a cloud of dust. The kids were all left just waving at the retreating bus.

"Hi, I'm Rikku. Who're you?"

The whole group spun around. They saw a tall, blonde girl with a blue headband around her forehead, long hair that was mostly loose, with four thin braid thigys dangling down. She had a red scarf around her neck, something that looked like a yellow bikini top on her - you know. She also wore brown short-shorts with a yellow belt around her waist, white sleeves that went from her wrists to her shoulders, and blue, cloth-bound boots. Her most astonishing feature was that her green eyes had pupils like little spirals. They were fascinating to look at. (How many of you know what game she's from? And how many of you know why she hasn't frozen to death yet?)

A deep flush spread across Gaara's face. His eyelids drooped, and his usual scowl transformed into a sickly smile. Lee began poking Gaara's head. "Gaara? Are you alright?" Gaara just continued looking lovestruck - yes, _lovestruck_ - at Rikku.

Poor, poor Rikku.

"Oh, I'm Ino, and we're the people that won the contest for this ski lodge! We'll be here for two weeks. By the way, don't you get cold in that?" Ino said, eyeing Rikku's outfit.

But Rikku didn't reply. She was staring at Ino in horror. "You're... You're the _prizewinners?_ Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. YUNIE! PAINE! TIDUS! SAVE MEEEEEEE!" Rikku spun around and began sprinting towards the large building that read **_Sir Auron's Ski Resort of Fun!_** The "of Fun!" part was scratched on with a ballpoint pen.

"W-well... let's just g-go inside. I'm c-c-cold." murmured Hinata. Everyone nodded, and grabbed their bags and headed inside.

And they gaped.

The inside of the ski lodge was completely covered with pictures of video games entitled: _Final Fantasy X_ and _Final Fantasy X 2_. All the kids stared at the walls until a voice came from behind them: "Were you frightning my cousin?"

They turned to see a girl with mostly short hair, but with a _looong_ ponytail that stuck out of the back and grazed the floor. She was wearing a white, sleeveless shirt with a vertical slice in the front, held together by a black piece of metal. On her arms she had two yellow bands, and a black cloth around one wrist. She had on black short-shorts, the same sort of belt as Rikku, and a weird blue-and-white cloth that was hanging from her waist to her ankles on one side. Black combat boots covered her feet and lower legs, and an exceptionally long earring hung from her right ear. She said again, "Well? Did you?"

The group of them shrank back in fear, except for Sasuke and Neji, who insisted on being too cool to be afraid. The girl glared at them for a minute, then she noticed something.

"You guys... you guys are the prizewinners, arent you?" She stared at each of their faces. "You... you're the prizewinners, aren't you?"

"Uh, yeah... are you gonna scream and run away?" asked Naruto reproachfully. The girl shook her head.

"Uhm, no. But... what video game are you guys from?" She stared at them curiously.

"We're not from a video game." said Tenten.

The girl screamed, and ran off, waving her arms wildly while screeching, "NOT A VIDEO GAME? OH, THE HORROR!"

The ninja group just stared.

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Hi, peeps! Well, that's it! The beginning to a long and senseless story (again)!

Please leave reviews on your way out!


	2. Shino and Auron, PokeMasters!

Hello, and welcome back to Campfire Geeks II: Campfire Geeks! In today's segment, we'll be learning about-

**Naruto:** The heck with it, no on cares about your stupid, retarded introductions!

**Gaara:** Story or DIE.

**Hinata:** Yessss! KILL! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Sakura:** You guys all need to shu - hey wait a sec. Did Hinata just scream at the author to get killed, then laugh like a mad scientist?

**Shikamaru: **Yeah because this is the chapter that Hinata gets changed into an evi-

**Entire cast, including the video game characters:** SHUT UP YOU LAZY-ASS!

**Hinata:** BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Neji: **...Did anyone notice that the author hasn't said a single thing this entire conversation?

**Natsyourlord:**_ (tappity tappity tappity)_

**Naruto:** I think that's because she has to type everything that we're saying.

**Sakura:** Yeah, that sounds about right.

**Hinata:** BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Gaara:** I need a Gameboy.

**Shikamaru:** Those things? (sigh) They're so troublesome.

**Neji:** Oh, the heck with it. Here's the next chapter of Ski Lodge Geeks.

**Sakura:** Enjoy!

**Hinata:** BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH - _cough, cough... cough_ - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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So, you may be wondering what has happened to our little group of imbeciles - I, I mean, shinobi. Well, you know what? I'd like to know, too. I'd like to know a lot of stuff. Unfortunately, I only know what I know. Enough of my ramblings, on with the story!

After seeing the strange girl with the ridiculously slutty clothing run away screaming, the unusual-looking group walked up to the front desk, which was decorated with a sign that read, **_This is my story... or else._**

"Hi, um... Auron!" said Ino, reading the nameplate. "We're the contest winners! Can we please get our rooms?"

Auron stared at her for a minute, before uttering a single sound. "Hn."

"Uh, sorry? I'd, um, like to get my party's rooms, please." Ino asked again. Auron just peered at her over the rim of his sunglasses.

"Hn, hnnn..."

Then, SPIDERMAN CRASHED THROUGH THE WALL AND EXPLODED INTO A KAJILLION TINY SPIDERS!

No, just kidding.

Actually, _Shino_ walked up to the desk and shoved Ino aside. "Hmm, hn-hn." Shino 'hn'ned (We won a contest).

"Hn, grunt grunt hnn?" (The one on the radio?) asked Auron.

"Grunt." (Yes)

"Hn, grunt hn-grunt. Hm, hn grunt?" (Very well then. Party of twelve?)

"Grunt." (Yes)

"Hn, grunt grunt gottacatchemall hmm?" (Do you collect Pokemon cards?)

Meanwhile, the others were staring at Auron and Shino as they spoke in this unusual manner. Of course, they could only hear a series of hnn's and grunts, and they weren't fortunate enough to have little parentheses thingys to tell them what they were saying. Haha, be glad that I'm a nice authoress.

"Hnn-hmm-grunt, cutelittlefox hm creepyelectricmouse?" (So I give you my Eevee and you give me the Pikachu?) asked Shino.

"Hn grunt!" (Indeed!) cried Auron, enthusiastically passing over a card. then they saw something that would completely destroy their lives forever.

Auron and Shino hugged.

"GAHRGH! MY EYES! MY PRECIOUS CERULEAN EYES!" screamed Naruto, sprinting to get out of the ski lodge.

"MY COOL! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" sobbed Neji, dashing out of the lodge.

"MY VANITY!" screeched Ino, applying lipgloss as she, too, high-tailed it out of the lodge, along with everyone else, but they didn't say anything. They just screamed and ran.

When they got outside, they saw that it was snowing. And there was lightning, too. A blizzard... and thunder... a blunderstorm. Haha, I think I'm insane. Don't you?

Anyway, pretty soon everyone was lost in the woods. Of course, they were able to find their way back of course, with their ultimately awesome ninja powers.

Except for Hinata, because her ninja skills aren't as finely honed. So she was alone and lost in the middle of a blunderstorm.

"N-Naruto kun..." she whimpered in the cold. "I... I always... w-wanted to t-t-tell you that... that y-you smelled l-like ramen... b-but now I'll n-n-never get th-the chance..."

All of a sudden, LIGHTNING CAME DOWN AND STRUCK HINATA!

And this time I'm not kidding.

Hinata did the little "BZZT!" Thing like in cartoons, when they flash from nomal to skeleton to normal to skeleton to normal to skeleton. Then she fainted

_**In Hinata's Dream Type Thingy...**_

_"Hello, Hinata." said a strange voice. Hinata looked up to see three ghosts come out of nowhere. They landed in front of her, and one of them took off his hood to reveal...a hamster?_

_"AAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Hinata. "You're... I mean, you were... aren't you... whuuu,uuh!"_

_"Yes, Hinata. I am Agent C, of the CRAP squad. Revere me and bow down to me."_

_"NEVER!"_

_"Hey, Agent C?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"SHUT UP!" The second ghost took off his hood. He was somebody that looked strangely familiar to Hinata, but she didn't know where she'd seen him before._

_"Who are you?" she asked._

_The ghost sighed. "I'm Steve. Natsyourlord's brother. Remember? You helped to make her life a living Hell when she took my MP3 Player without asking."_

_"Oh, yeah..." said Hinata, remembering the events that had been happy for her and my brother and oh, so horrible for me. "And who are you?" she asked, pointing to the 3rd ghost. The ghost pulled back his hood to reveal - _

_"Napoleon Dynamite!"_

_"Gosh, you're a freakin' idiot!" said Napoleon._

_"WHAT?"_

_"A flipping twelve gage, whaddo you think?"_

_"You'll have to excuse him, he never says anything except for quotes." said Agent C._

_"You gonna eat your 'tots?"_

_"Anyway..." said Steve, "Back to business. Hinata, when you wake up you will be... how you say... altered._

_"Huh?"_

_"I'm telling you, just send her back!" cried Agent C._

_"You know, it would be kind of funny..."_

_"So do it!"_

_"I see you're drinking 1. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? Coz you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to."_

_"JUST SEND HER BACK!"_

_"ALRIGHT!"_

_**...End Hinata's Dream Type Thingy**_

Hinata sat up. What the hell? Why did she have a sudden urge to... create experiments? Evil, evil experiments?

And to get inside Naruto's pants?

Hinata gave a mad cackle, then went running off to devise her evil plans.

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There! Chapter 2 is UP! WOOT!

-Natsyourlord is going to track you down and... nag you... about reviewing if you don't review RIGHT NOW!


	3. Jack's Tale

Huzzah! The next chapter in the absolutely fabulous SKI LODGE GEEKS!!!!!!!! Sorry it took so long... I got lazy.

**HUZZAH!!!!!!!!!!!**

**PS: The beginning of this chapter also has the genre of "Horror", for... obvious reasons.**

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Kakashi had just finished putting out his Christmas lawn ornaments - Santas that looked like Tsunade bowing down to a reindeer with a sharingan in one eye and holding an Icha Icha Paradise book. As he happened to look across the street, he saw Iruka putting up his lawn ornaments - a bunch of reindeer bowing down to an elf.

As Kakashi took a closer look, he saw that the reindeer on Iruka's lawn also had sharingans in one eye, and were all holding Icha Icha Paradise books. And studying the elf, he could see that it had a ponytail.

And a scar across its little plastic nose.

Kakashi pulled a remote control out of his pocket and pressed a button. Instantly, his lawn ornaments' eyes began to glow red. They slowly and robotically pulled themselves to attantion and stood, waiting for orders.

_I knew it was a good idea to get the robotic slave special,_ thought Kakashi, as he lifted his hand, pointed at Iruka, and yelled, "ATTACK!"

The robot minions instantly turned and began to march evilly towards Iruka, who stood there paralyzed with fear. The robots looked like one of those evil armies that you see in the movies. You know, like in _Attack of the Lawn Ornaments_, when the lawn ornaments turn on the unsuspecting pedestrian and... wait. I don't want to spoil the movie for those who have never seen it yet.

Anyways, Iruka finally came to his senses just as the robot army was almost upon him. He turned and ran, but the robots sprung out little jet paks from their backs and came after him at light speed.

Iruka was eventually cornered in a dark alleyway. He crouched on the floor, panting, and thinking he was safe. Then all of a sudden, one of the robots found him. It threw back its head and gave an unearthly wail. In the distance, other wails answered it, and they gradually came closer.

Iruka could only watch in horror as the robots came after him, slowly and menacingly. They lifted their evil claws, and began to attack Iruka. (AN: This is creepy, even for me, and I'm the one who wrote it!)

"No! Please! Stop! It was a joke! A JOKE! Oh, my, Ahh! AHH! AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGH!!" he screamed as the robots began to rip at Iruka, tearing off his flesh and-

"-SHOVELING IT INTO THEIR MOUTHS!" yelled Ino, pointing an accusing finger at Naruto and Kiba, whose faces were stuffed with chicken. "I mean, SERIOUSLY! They're gonna choke, and then they'll die, and I don't really _want_ to bury two stupid dead guys in frozen hard ground at a ski lodge, DO YOU!?!??!"

Everyone else twitched.

Just then, Hinata slammed the door open. "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!" she screamed. "TO MY EVIL LABOROTORY!!!!!!!!" Cackling like a maniac, she ran into the center of the room, and then disappeared with a puff of purple smoke.

"WTF was that?" muttered Neji, turning back to his meal of "cool" mashed potatos and corn.

"I dunno, but - OHMYFUDGEMUFFINS!" yelled Sakura from the window. Everyone dashed over to the window.

There was suddenly a sinister-looking generic mountain standing out against the gray sky. A large castle made of black stone was perched on the side of the mountain. Lightning struck and thunder boomed in the background, and at random intervals you could faintly hear maniacal laughter.

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"YES! BWAHAHAHA! I shall now make an evil potion of doom, of which will make a giant rock fall on Naruto's head. While he has amnesia, I shall implant in his brain an evil thought of which to make him sleep with me! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!" screamed Hinata. She went over to her Evil Destructo Ray of Death and made it beam up a giant rock. Then she laughed evilly again.

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Naruto was standing under a cliff. He didn't look up, so he didn't notice the gigantic rock precariously balanced right above him. He was just staning there. Don't ask me why, I didn't write the story! (Okay, yes I did. .)

Anyway, Hinata was also up on that cliff. She grinned evilly as she saw Naruto standing there. With a mad cackle, she shoved the rock off the edge.

Suddenly, Naruto realized that he wanted... CHEESE. Lots and lots of CHEESE. So he walked away.

The giant rock crashed into the ground behind him, plowed straight through the center of the Earth, and popped up in Cuba, where it smashed into their evil dictator of whom's name I do not remember and killed him. The Cubans rejoiced.

Meanwhile Hinata was ranting on about how her giant generic rock had killed the Cuban dictator instead of giving Naruto amnesia. Naturally, she was very angry. "Oh, w-well. B-Back to the d-d-drawing board." she whispered. "I, I mean, BACK TO ZE DRAWING BOARD! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!"

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"YAY! This cheese is AWESOME!!" yelled Naruto, eating his 57th block of cheddar cheese.

"Uh, Naruto... Don't you think you'd better hold off the cheese for a little bit?" asked Tenten tentatively.

A block of cheese hit her in the head.

"Ow."

All of a sudden, the girl with the ridiculously slutty clothing (whose name they'd learned was Yuna) ran into the room. "Guys, quick! A strange boy riding on a rocket made of excretion has just crashed into the front of the lodge! He says he knows you!" Yuna grabbed their wrists and dragged them with her out to the front.

In front of the lodge, there was a small brown rocket that had obviously crash-landed. But the rocket wasn't what grabbed their attention. What grabbed their attention was a boy lying standing beside the rocket. He had brown hair and blue eyes and looked eerily like Bobby Pendragon, but that wasn't why they were afraid. It was his sweatshirt.

It had a bunch of little pastries and stuff all over it.

"GYAAAAAAAAH!!!" screamed Naruto. "IT'S HIM!! JACK THE PIETHROWER! HE'S COME BACK FROM THE DEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yuna slapped him across the face. "He's not back from the dead, you idiot. No one can come back from the dead, except Tidus, and that's because he wasn't really dead in the first place!"

Naruto stared at her. "Who's Tidus? An ocean?"

SMACK!

"Ow!"

"Shut up, both of you." said Jack, walking towards them. "And what's wrong with you?" He glanced a Tenten. Her mouth had just dropped off her face. It looked... creepy.

"Now, I want to tell my tale," said Jack. "So if you're going to listen, do it. NOW."

_**Jack's Tale**_

_After those maniac hamsters kidnapped me and strapped me on a rocket, they launched me to Uranus. It was not a fun trip. Fortunately, it was fast. I landed on Uranus, alive. Barely alive. It was a pity, it hurt like hell._

_Then suddenly, a vision came up in front of me...in it was a young teenage boy, a fuzzy little animal, and an obnoxious older teenage boy with a stupid expression on his face. The last referred to was staring at me with something of a look that reminded me of a funny movie on his face. However, I couldnt make out the other two due to the dark hoods they wore. I sighed and stood up._

_"Fine, I get it. You're here to kill me, maim me, hang me over a boiling pot of water and poke me with bendy pencils, just do it already. I'm sick and tired of having my piethrower skills underestimated, understated, and well, Natsyourlord treats me worse than Nike treats their employees. You have to understand, I've had a very hard time of it myself---"_

_Suddenly I felt a choking feeling at my neck. The younger teenage boy had raised his fist and was slowly clenching it, a grim expression on his face._

_"That's better..." he said. "Shut your mouth for once and let us speak and I might let you live..."_

_I'll admit it. I was scared. I hadn't seen anyone this evil since Gaara. And this guy wasn't even giggling._

_Then the fuzzy animal spoke up. "Stop choking him, imbecile. We need him if we're going to spy on those unsuspecting ninja. Hinata's various plots to kill them seem to be failing."_

_"---Oh. Yeah. I knew that." The grip released itself._

_"Where did you get those powers anyway?" I asked, amazed._

_"Oh, that? I blackmailed Itachi into teaching me how to use the Mangekyou Sharingan. You see, I photoshopped pictures of him having gay sex with Orochimaru and told him I'd turn it over to the authorities under the pretense that Orochimaru was in fact Michael Jackson. That way, Itachi's reputation with Akatsuki would be dirt, and his brother would never be able to rest, dwelling on the fact that his entire life he has been chasing a fag."_

_"Ah. Nice. Touche to your evil skills," remarked the hamster, who was really starting to get on my nerves. "Now, then. Back to you, Piethrower. Currently we are trying to destroy the pesky ninja at that ski lodge. So we are going to strand you on Uranus until Natsyourlord finally publishes the story in November."_

_"But wait... isn't it November?" I asked._

_The teenage boy spoke up again. "You really are expecting, in any small corner of your dim-witted uncreative walnut-shelled mind, that a hamster like Agent C could ever know the month?! You really are an idiot. You're lucky I don't crush you right now and leave your blood to seep into the craters of Uranus."_

_"WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST MY ANUS!??!?!" I screamed, really fed up now._

_The boy sighed and made a gun-motion at his head in exasperation. "The planet, dumbass..."_

_"Oh."_

_"Yeah...I'd rather not get anywhere near your anus anytime soon, especially since I'd have to get past those disgusting, two-sizes-too-small Strawberry Shortcake boxers that you're currently wearing?"_

_I was about to cry. "Shut up!!! These were a gift from great-aunt Agatha!"_

_"Gosh, you're a freakin' idiot!" said the older, obnoxious-looking teenage boy. THe younger one punched him in the face._

_"Well," the hamster remarked, "I think I've had quite enough with this. You will now be stranded on the planet of Uranus till November. Take this holy muffin to keep you company until then"_

_I then just had the biggest surprise of my life._

_The muffin screamed "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!"_

_I just gaped._

_"Ah, I wish I could stay here and enjoy this," remarked the boy. "But you see, we must be going. Unlike you, we actually have lives."_

_"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" I screamed as the three disappeared into the gas._

_"Hallelujah!"_

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Part of this chapter was written by my brother Steven. I came over to my computer and there he was, typing away like a madman. I edited some of the stuff he wrote so that you guys don't stare at your computer screens thinking, "Oh, my gosh! Natsyourlord suddenly became incredibly violent and disgusting!" So... yeah.

-Natsyourlord


	4. Wrath of the Holy Muffin! Part 1

THANKSGIVING SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a two-part chapter about the Holy Muffin. So... enjoy!

**OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Chouji dug into his food.

He wondered why he had even agreed to go on this stupid ski trip in the first place. After all, he knew that almost everyone who Ino had invited was either a dweeb or a raving lunatic, with the exception of himself and Shikamaru. Not to mention, the owner was a weirdo who collected PokeMon cards, and his friends thought they were from a video game.

So... why?

Oh, yeah. The food.

As Chouji was starting on his fourth chicken wing, he noticed a small muffin with chocolate chips on the top, under the label:

**Holy Muffin - The most... unique... muffin you'll ever... lay eyes on!**

And underneath, in smaller print, it read:

**Side effects include coughing, wheezing, annoying 'Hallelujah-ing', stomach cramps, headache, and girlish screaming. Please do not eat.**

At that moment, a strange girl with grayish hair and goth-type clothing walked in, brandishing a giant sword. "Oh, look... a muffin," she said, picking in up.

"Hallelujah! Hallelujah!"

The girl stared at it for a second, then screamed and ran. As Chouji watched, the muffin sprouted little stick-like arms and legs, and ran out the door, shrieking, "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!"

Chouji stared after it for a moment, before muttering, "Weird..." and turning back to his food.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Gaara sat in the boy's bathroom. Shutting his left eye. "Third Eyeball whatchimacallit jutsu!" he said evilly.

Sand particles floated away from him, down the hallway, around a corner, under a door, up some stairs, and yadda yadda yadda. Point is, they went into Rikku's room, where she was undressing.

"Heeheehee..." Gaara chuckled. "Come on... take off the top... take off the top...

Suddenly, the Holy Muffin came dashing around the corner, yodeling at the top of its lungs, "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!"

Gaara glared at it. "Excuse me, mister muffin. I'm trying to watch a woman strip."

Then he did a double take.

Gaara screamed like a little girl, then fainted dead away. The Holy Muffin continued on its way, unaware of anything unusual...

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Jack looked around frantically. "Where's my Holy Muffin!?"

Naruto shrugged. "No clue. It probably went to go skiing or something."

"Yeah, that's probably it," said Yuna, admiring her fingernails.

Suddenly, Hinata ran by, laughing deviously. Following her was a horde of little lawn ornaments of Santas that looked like Tsunade, followed by a rendeer with a sharingan and an Icha-Icha Paradise book. All of them were laughing in a horrible, evil way.

Followed by the Holy Muffin.

"Holy crap! That' my Holy Muffin!" yelled Jack.

"SPHERE-CHANGE!" hollered Yuna. She held her hands over her head and changed into a gunner. "Trigger Happy!"

"...Trigger Happy?" said Jack incredulously.

"Yes. Trigger Happy. Now, GET THE MUFFIN!"

"GET THE MUFFIN!!!" cheered Naruto and Jack in unison.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Part two is coming... whenever I get the chance to type it.

-Natsyourlord hereby commands you to press the little purple button and leave a review.


	5. Wrath of the Holy Muffin! Part 2

Part two. Here ya go.

Please review, I have completely forgotten how to check my hits so reviews are the only things telling me you've actually seen this.

**On with ze story!**

"GET THE MUFFIN!" cheered Naruto and Jack in unison.

The Holy Muffin shrieked, and began running even faster. It was quite a disturbing sight. Especially since those robot minions of Kakashi's were running in front of it, and an evilly laughing Hinata in front of them.

"Come on!" yelled Yuna, firing her guns rapidly in the direction of the muffin. Unfortunately, she kept missing, and was only hitting the robots. "TRIGGER HAPPY!"

"What's the deal with the 'trigger happy' thing?!" Jack called.

"I dunno - I didn't design the game!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Tidus was wearing only a bathrobe and bunny slippers as he walked out front to get the mail. "\/\/-47 4 5up3r4\/\/350\/3 4y, 00 !" he said aloud in l33t. After all, Tidus _is _a surfer dude. It's only natural that he speak in surfer dude l33t language!

He distinctly heard shouts in the distance. But he didn't see anything when he looked, so, shrugging, he turned back to the mailbox.

Suddenly, an evil girl rushed past him, laughing like a madwoman. Closely following her was a horde of robots that looked like lawn ornaments that looked like santas that looked like someone he'd seen in a comic. Right after them was a muffin with sticklike arms and legs, wailing, "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!" Bringing up the rear was his girlfriend Yuna, hollering, "TRIGGER HAPPY! TRIGGER HAPPY!" and two idiots cheering, "GET THE MUFFIN!!!!!!!!!!"

Tidus stared.

"\/\/-04."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Rikku walked out of her bedroom (fully clothed), looking for the source of the girlish scream she'd heard.

Instead... she found Gaara.

"Um... what's your name... Gabriel? Did you hear someone scream a few minutes ago?" she asked. Gaara began to drool.

"Gabriel? Uh, _Gabriel?_ Are you okay? Here..." she pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to Gaara. "Use this to wipe up your spit."

Gaara looked at the handkerchief, let out a high-pitched squeal, and fell over in a dead faint.

Rikku stared at him. "Um... you can keep it."

Gaara's unconscious body suddenly shot up again, squealed, then fell over again.

All of a sudden, Hinata rushed past, laughing like a maniac, followed by:

1. the Tsunade Santa lawn robots

2. the Kakashi reindeer lawn robot

3. the Holy Muffin

4. Yuna, screaming TRIGGER HAPPY! TRIGGER HAPPY!; and

5. Jack and Naruto cheering, "GET THE MUFFIN!"

Rikku stared, then shrugged, said "Oh, well. GET THE MUFFIN!" and joined in.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Finally Hinata made it back to her laborotory mountain. She sighed happily and grabbed the Holy Muffin.

"Hallelujah! Hallelujah," it screamed in fear.

"Be quiet, you stupid Muffin," said Hinata sadistically. "I shall now clone you and make your clones very EVILISH. Then, I shall make the clones kill all living things except Naruto-kun, of whom I shall then sleep with! GYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!"

All of a sudden, three ghosly figures came into the room. One of them was a hamster, one of them was a teenage boy with curly brown hair, and the third was an older teenage boy with big glasses and bad teeth.

"Ah, yes. If it isn't my sponsors; Steve, Agent C, and Napoleon. Welcome." said Hinata in a creepy voice.

Without warning, Agent C lashed his hand out and grabbed the Holy Muffin.

"HEY!"

"Sorry Hinata... but we have to give the Holy Muffin back to the raving idiot in the Strawberry Shortcake Boxers," said Steve. "You can't clone it."

"But I have the machine ready and everything!" cried Hinata, pointing over to a large machine with little lightning bolts coming out of it every five seconds.

Napoleon walked over to it and stared for a minute. "It's a piece of crap!"

"Is not!"

"She says she wants you to go home because you're ruining our lives and eating all our steak."

"Shut up, Napoleon." said Steve. "Look, Hinata, as mush as we'd love to sit back and watch you take over the world for us, we can't. See, if you clone the Holy Muffin, it will run away with the clones and take over the universe, including us. And we _really _don't want to be ruled by annoying muffins who shriek 'hallelujah' every two seconds. So we can't, alright?"

"Besides..." continued Agent C, "that would take the fun out of Saturday night pong championships."

"Yeah."

With that, the three ghosts faded away. Hinata was left alone... that is, with the minion robots.

"Darn it, now that the muffin is gone, there's absolutely nothing in here that I can use to take over the world!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Riku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER HAPPY!" yelled Yuna.

"GET THE MUFFIN!" yelled Jack, Naruto, and Rikku.

"TRIGGER - Oh, forget this..." said Yuna sadly. "We'll never find that muffin. It's just not anywhere."

Jack promptly burst into tears. As Naruto and Rikku tried to comfort him, they heard a sound in the distance.

"Hallelujah! Hallelujah!"

Jack stood up. "Could it be...?" he whispered. He looked hard across the lobby. Then, on the other end, he saw it.

The Holy Muffin.

"Oh, Holy Muffin! You've come home!" cried Jack, rushing to meet his Holy Muffin.

"Hallelujah! Hallelujah!" It yelled, jumping into Jack's arms. Jack hugged it tightly. "Oh, I _knew_ you wouldn't leave me!"

Meanwhile, Agent C, Steve, and Napoleon were watching from a nearby tree.

"Gee, do you think we did the right thing?" said Steve thoughtfully.

"Of course we did!" said Agent C.

"No... I meant the right thing by our standards."

"Oh... no. No we didn't."

"Right."

"I took her to get some modeling shots for her birthday one year."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

THE END OF THE MUFFIN SAGA!!!!

-Natsyourlord


	6. Author's Note

Hi, guys.

Look, just wanna apoligize, but my mom took away our comuter... -sob- so I won't be able to update anything for a while. I hope you just kee on checking your alerts and your reviews lists and whatnot, so that when I manage to update again you'll see it pretty quick.

To give you guys a treat, though, I'm going to tell you a litle bit about what happens next chapter. Neji doesn't know how to ski, so Rikku teaches him and Gaara, who is pretending he doesn't know squat so that he can spend time with his crush. Then Hinata finds Stewie Griffin, who she's using as an accomplice to get Naruto in bed with her. However, when she and Stewie make a mind-switching device, Sasuke walks in and Hinata quickly tries to switch Sasuke's brain with something... and that something happens to be Stewie! Oh, no! What will happen now?!?

Oh, yeah. And they actually ski in this one.

Yeah, well, I'm on my mom's laptop, which I'm not supposed to be, and I really gotta hurry before she and Dad get home. So, uh... SKI WHILE YOU CAN, PEOPLE! YEAHHHH!!!!!!

-Natsyourlord 


	7. Stewie Switchie Sasuke

HI, GUYS!!! Sorry I haven't updated in forever... (please read the author's note of last chapter.) I'll try to balance school, rock climbing (yes, that is a sport, and yes, my school does do it), Yeah, but, here we go!

CAMPFIRE GEEKS II IS NOW CONTINUED!!!!!

**OoOoOoOoOoO**

"Yes!" Naruto cheered, punching the air. "We're _finally_ going onto the trails. _FINALLY_! We wasted six frikin' chapters on the intro, PokeMon, Uranus, a demented group of villains, and a talking muffin! It's about time we did what the title of the story implies!" he cheered again.

"Shut up, Naruto," sasuke growled, slapping the blonde with his snowboard. "We aren't actually snowboarding yet."

At that moment, Rikku and Yuna came out. Neither of them had changed their clothes. At all. Really. At all.

"Hey, aren't you cold?" asked Sakura, who was snapping her skis on.

"Uh, NO. I went up a freaking mountain to meet up with blue monsters that wore loincloths in a tank top and short-shorts while heading to a city called Zanarkand so that my cousin could commit suicide by summoning a giant creature that beats the crap out of a large fish/bear/slug, then turns around and eats her. I'm not cold for ANYTHING." said Rikku bluntly. Yuna nodded.

Shikamaru jerked his poles onto his hands. "Whatever."

**Meanwhile, in Hinata's diabolical lair...**

"Greetings, Mr. Griffin."

"Greetings to you, too, Dr. Hyuuga."

"I trust you have the nessescary equibrilium capacitator?"

"Of course. What do you take me for, an oaf? I don't take after my father."

"Yes, well, the important thing is that we complete the machinery."

"Indeed."

**Back with everyone else...**

"Okay," said Rikku. "Now that everyone's out here and suited up, I'll be teaching anyone who doesn't know how to ski. Anybody?"

At that moment, Neji spontaneously fell on the ground in a fetal position.

Hyuuga Hanabi spontaniously dashed past, screaming, "Cousin Neji can't ski! Everybody point and laugh in a nasally tone!"

"Ooookay... anybody else?"

"I CAN'T SKI! TEACH ME, RIKKU!" yelled Gaara in a high-pitched, girly voice. Everyone else fell over in comedic fashion.

"Alrighty, Gabriel and Nick. Does everyone else know how to either ski or snowboard?"

Everyone nodded.

"Okay, then GO HAVE SOME FUN!!!!" Yuna screamed. Everybody took off to get away from the freakish game characters. Plus the screaming Hanabi was back.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Kankuro and Shino were skiing together down a moderately easy trail.

"You know, Gaara can ski," said Kankuro. "Shukaku taught him. I just wonder why he wanted lessons."

They continued down the slope.

"Come to think of it, Gaara's been acting weird ever since we got here. I wonder why?"

They continued down the slope.

"Did you know that Temari's allergic to chicken?"

"...Shut up."

The puppeteer began to sweat. "Look, if this is because they recently reeinacted our fight during the Invasion of Konoha story arc in the english version... well, sorry. I didn't mean to poison you. Well, I did at the time but..."

". . ."

"This ski trip is better than the time I out-farted Michael Moore."

"Plagiarizer. That's from Family Guy."

"Come on, Shino, I was just joki- What the- bugs? Oh my god! GAAAH!!!!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Dammit. This rope is probably gonna break, and then we'll die... this is boring. How long are we gonna be up here, Yamanaka?"

"Shut up, Nara."

Shikamaru and Ino had somehow ended up on the same lift, and a few moments after they had gotten on, the lift had broken down.

". . ."

". . ."

"Wanna make out?"

"Girls are gross. And troublesome."

Bird poop landed on Shikamaru's head

"I believe Natsyourlord is attempting to curse us with bird crap again."

"...Troublesome authoress."

More bird poop, Nara. More bird poop.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

...And to stop, you make a V shape, like this!" said Rikku as she demonstrated. Neji nodded, and Gaara drooled.

"Let me see you guys try. Nick, you first."

Neji made a V shape with his skis.

"Good. Now, Gabriel? You wanna try?"

Gaara drooled some more. The sand leaked out of his gourd, which for some reason was still on even though he was wearing snow gear, and pointed his skis in a V.

"Good! Now, on how to turn..."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sasuke was snowboarding alone. Why? Because... he is an avanger. Avengers must do everything alone. It does not matter if it is unrelated to avenging. Avengers are alone.

And concieted.

All of a sudden, a giant hole randomly opened up in the ground, and Sasuke - and a whole ton of snow - fell into it.

Sasuke flew down one of those slidy pipe thingys, like in Jimmy Neutron: Rescue Jet Fusion, or when Timmy Turner goes to the Crocker Cave; the pipey thingys like that.

He fell into a giant cage, which already had a resident...

A cougar.

Ignoring the ripping, tearing, screaming sounds from the other side of the room, Hinata and Stewie were making some final adjustments to their Portable Equibrilium/Mental Transferrence Device, or "Mind switchy Thingy" for short.

"Yes! It is finished!" cried Stewie. "Now, Rupert, we will place you inside the cage, where you will switch minds with that cougar!" He leaned inside the device to put... um, _Rupert_ inside the machine.

At that moment, Agent C spontaneously popped out of nowhere, pushed Stewie inside - "What the duce!" - and slammed the door and pushed the button.

A loud, obnoxious beeping sound filled the room. Hinata laughed evilly as white smoke poured out of the machine 'till you couldn't see anything. Agent C ran away.

When the beeping finally stopped, Hinata looked inside the machine. "Mr. Griffin?" she called. Her voice echoed through the machinery's depths. Finally, she saw an outlne of Stewie.

"...Mr. Griffin?" she said again.

Stewie opened his mouth. Hinata held her breath.

"What the heck is going on? And why am I a toddler?" said Stewie... I mean, Sasuke.

**Okay the end... of this chapter! Once again, I'll try to update some other stuff, and maybe I can even update Rock Lee's Dating Service! YESH!**

**-Natsyourlord**

**PS: If you forgive me for taking so long on the updating, please say so.**


	8. Oh, wow, that's random

Okay, guys. Last chapter was a bit short, so I tried to make this one a bit longer. Remember that I am just one person. And I am typing this on a plane bound for Southern places. Which is south. And my ears are popped. And it hurts. So believe me when I say that this chapter was written about a week before it was posted, due to the fact that I'm quote unquote supposed to be spending time with my grandparents and not inside frying my brain. As says my mom. So don't hurt me.

**On with ze airborne story!!!**

Hinata stared at Ste - I mean, Sasuke, then promptly fainted. Sasuke stared down at her.

At that moment, Sasu - um... Stewie came out from behind a random corner and said, "Victory shall be mine!" apparently forgetting what had happened in the last two hours, and toddled off, which looked extremely WEIRD in a 16-year-old's body.

Sasuke sighed. "I am an avenger," he said simply, and stalked off, which looked extremely WEIRD in a toddler's body. Even if the toddler bears a striking resemblance to Hey Arnold.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Shikamaru and Ino were still trapped on the lift.

"ARGH!!!" screamed Ino. "Why did Natsyourlord have to stick us on this STUPID lift? I could be sliding down a trail on two bits of titanium alloy-plated wood, even though I'd prefer to be doing my makeup, or getting my beauty sleep, or gossiping. But NOOO, instead, I'm on an accursed SKI LIFT with a whining Nara. I hate this author!"

Shikamaru sighed. "Yeah, well, all of us fictional characters hate her, because she tortures us. And because she seems to have a fetish with bird poop. But obviously FanFiction dwellers love her, because recently the original Campfire Geeks passed the four-hundred review mark, and based on average review status, that's twenty reviews per chapter. So clearly she must be good." He blinked. "Natsyourlord, stop using me to gloat. It's wrong."

At that moment, an evil presence descended upon them...

No, just kidding.

Actually, Stewie in Sasuke's body jumped off the chair in front of them, screaming, "Victory shall be mine!!!!!" and snowboarding down the mountain. It was downright disturbing.

Shikamaru and Ino's jaws dropped off the ski lift. Literally. They fell off of their mouths and clanked onto the ground, where they began sliding down the trail.

"Oh crap..." said Ino, who apparently could still talk even though half of her mouth was gone. Talk about talkative.

**In Natsyourlord's current location down south...**

Steve stared over Natsyourlord's shoulder, reading what she was typing.

"Put me in the story. I haven't appeared in a while."

"No. You keep dunking me in the pool at unexpected times. It's ANNOYING." Natsyourlord glared at Steve, then took another bite out of her chocolate. To her readers, she said, "The world deserves to know that my brother is evil."

"Why are you typing all this? The readers don't care what _you're_ doing or saying. They only want your story." laughed Steve the incredibly annoying and stupid older brotherohauf;hifijiaei jkjidhfe33qi488oIiii uhHLIUG

nATSYOURLORD IS A moron FFFFFAAfdij;

oifh

efiEII4re jmmjvn

kijdiSDS"Oh, yeah. But somehow they all care about _you_. That's perfectly understandable."

"Yeah, because I'm a villain, along with Agent C and Napoleon Dynamite"

"FINE! I'll put you in!"

"Very good..."

**Back in the story...**

"Okay, you two should be able to ski now! Congrats!" said Rikku.

Neji nodded. Gaara drooled.

"Go ski!"

Neji nodded. Gaara drooled.

"Bye!"

Neji nodded. Gaara drooled.

"Uh... why are you doing that?"

Neji nodded. Gaara DROOLED. A LOT.

"I'm scared."

Neji NODDED. A LOT. Gaara DROOLED. A LOT. Rikku ran away.

Random.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Steve , Agent C, and Napoleon were sitting in their evil LAIR of DOOM and DESTRUCTION and... MORE DOOM!

"Hmph. That fool Hinata is barely ticking the gears on our evil plan." grimaced Agent C. He rubbed his little hamster paws together menacingly.

"I know. She had to go and involve Stewie Griffin, and now the damn show, Family Guy, is off the air until he gets back. Freaking idiot, that's about all I do when I sit at home." replied Steve.

"But my lips hurt real bad!"

Steve punched Napoleon. "Shut up."

"Well, what should we do next?" asked Agent C, unphased by Napoleon's now much-bruised face.

"I believe our first priority should now be to take a hostage."

"A hostage?"

"Yes, anyone who can give us information on the locations of these idiots, as well as tell us the hideout for where Yuna and Auron stash their secret Beanie Baby collection."

"Isn't that a PokeMon card collection?'

"Oh shut up! Anyway, I feel that the best choice for a hostage is..."

OoOoOoOoOoO

Rikku slowed to a stop in front of the ski lodge. She was out of breath and panting.

She just didn't understand it. What was wrong with Nick? Why did he keep nodding? Maybe he had some sort of disorder.

But then, what about Gabriel? He kept drooling. At first she thought he was drinking too much, but when she watched him carefully at dinner he only had one small glass of Hawaiian Punch. And he kept staring at her with his eyelids half-closed and his mouth in that creepy smile Then she'd thought it was dehydration, but he seemed to be showing no other symptoms other than what appeared to be fatigue. Finally she'd thought maybe it was the flu, but when she'd tried to pat him on the shoulder sand came out of that gourd on his back and prevented her hand from coming near him, so she couldn't tell if he had body ache.

Thus, the mystery of Gabriel was unsolved.

Suddenly Rikku noticed something flapping in the wind, stuck on the corner of the building. Rikku looked at it curiously, then picked it up.

"OH MY GOSH!!!! IT'S A MIME JR. CARD! I DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY HAD THOSE!" squealed Rikku. She laughed and danced randomly.

"Yeah... because they're not out yet," came a sinister voice. Rikku looked up to see Steve, Agent C, and Napoleon.

"Yes, that's a fake card, CAPTIVE." said Agent C.

Rikku stared for a second, then grinned and said, "Hey, you're the guys who gave the Holy Muffin to Jack, right?"

Agent C and Steve smacked their foreheads. Napoleon stared on with an idiotic expression on his face.

"Uh... yeah."

"Let's take her hostage now."

"Yeah, good idea."

"Do I still get to keep the Mime Jr. card?"

". . ."

". . ."

". . ."

"PLEEEEASE?"

"...fine."

"Yay!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Stewie in Sasuke's body went snowboarding down the slope.

"Yes! I am free from that wretched tiny body, and am now able to manipulate people... and make a giant ball of lightning in my fist! EXCELLENT!" yelled Stewie. He began to laugh. Creepily.

He was so busy laughing (creeply) that he didn't notice Chouji on skis in front of him.

Yes, you guessed it, beloved reader.

Collision.

Oh, boy.

Stewie screamed. "What the duce?! It's an enormous ball of fat on skis! Has the fat man learned winter sports?"

Chouji's eyes did the firey thingy. "DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT!?!?!?!" he yelled.

"Why, I'm sure I did," said Stewie, bored. (keep in mind that to Chouji, this is Sasuke saying all this.)

"If I'm fat, then... then... then I'll kill Itachi, and then your life will have lost its purpose! Ha! How'll THAT feel? Then you'll NEVER be able to avenge your family... so HA!" Chouji folded his arms and smirked, sure that he had won and that Sasuke would begin begging for Chouji not to do it.

Stewie yawned and turned away. "Whatever, fatty," he said in a bored tone, waving a hand distractedly in Chouji's direction. Then he took off down the slope.

Chouji started crying chibi tears. How was this _possible_? Itachi was Sasuke's one weakness... unless...

Unless the evil scientist Hinata had _brainwashed _Sasuke into an evil ZOMBIE!!!

Chouji screamed, turned, and began skiing down the hill at high speeds screaming, "ZOMBIE! ZOOOOOMMMMBIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!'

This should be interesting.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Okay, done... that took a little longer than I thought it would, even though it's short... As hard as this is to believe, people, I have a life. I'll try to update as fast as I can, but I'm only one person with a lot to do. (whem my birthday rolls around in September, I'll get my own laptop and be able to update faster... squeals...

Also, when I came back there was a new review waiting... and the review was from me! And I didn't send it! I don't know if someone hacked my account or what, but if it happens again I will penalize everybody by not updating until the culprit steps foreward and reveals him/herself. And I have changed my password, too. So... yeah.

Don't piss off Natsyourlord if you know what's good for you. XD

-Natsyourlord


	9. When Evildoers Strike!

Okay! Next chapter is underway! As always, I am open to suggestions, so if you have an idea about the story, FFPM it to me and I'll gladly consider it, 'kay?

By the way, I just wanted to note that this story has recently passed the 100 review mark. Awesome! Thanks to everybody!

**ON WITH THE STORY!!!!**

Rikku was in a large plastic bag.

"What the heck?" she said loudly. She could feel her body being bumped around. Then something hit her head.

"Ow," she grimaced, "Something hit my head."

Outside the walls of the plastic bag, she could hear Steve and Agent C laughing, as Napoleon made a sort of snorting noise.

"Well... at least I still have my artificial Mime JR card to keep me company! Yay, Mime JR!" Rikku hugged the card. She could hear Steve vomiting, and Agent C making disgusted sounds. Napoleon was still making the snorting noise.

"Um... yeah."

"Are you positive that this is the best choice for a hostage?"

"No... but it's too late now. We might as well go with it."

"Yeah."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Holy Muffin! Where are you goin'?" yelled Jack, running after the Holy Muffin, which had somehow managed to escape Jack yet again. On it ran, scrambling over little mounds in the snow and screaming, "HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!" at the top of its lungs.

The muffin sprinted inside a large door marked _Muffin Room_. Jack, of course, followed.

Unfortunately for Jack, the Muffin Room was filled with - what else? - muffins.

He could hear the sound of the Holy Muffin's voice echoing around the enormous room, through the nooks and holes and divisions between giant piles of muffins. But it was impossible to tell which muffin was the real Holy Muffin. Again, unfortunately for Jack.

Jack then began to do the only thing he could, which was digging through the piles of muffins until he found the Holy Muffin.

Poor Jack.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Hinata was attempting to get Naruto into bed with her again.

This time her plan consisted of two bowls of ramen. One for Naruto, with sleeping powder in it, and one for herself, which was not contaminated with sleeping powder.

"Oh, NARUTO-KUUUUUUUUUUN!" she yelled in a sickly sweet voice as she saw the said ninja walk back from the ski trails, snowboard in hand. "I have ramen for you!"

Naruto's head jerked up at the word "ramen". So fast that it ws probably a time warp, Naruto was next to Hinata, and he grabbed a bowl of ramen and began slurping noisily. Hinata, still grinning evilly, began to eat her ramen.

"Thanks for the ramen, Hinata! Bye now!" said Naruto, and he ran off. Hinata stared after him, shocked! Naruto was supposed to be sleeping!

Then she looked down at her bowl.

"Oh, poopie."

With a dramatic spin-twist added on, Hinata crumpled to the floor. Naruto, hearing the noise, turned around and saw her lying there.

"Hinata?"

She didn't move.

Naruto grinned and pulled a random stick out of nowhere. "Hee hee... poke! Poke! Poke!" he said, poking the unconscious Hinata with the stick.

Kiba appeared randomly out of nowhere. "Hey Naruto, what are you doing?"

"Poking Hinata with a stick. Wanna help?"

"Sure!" said Kiba. He pulled out another random stick and poked Hinata with it.

Rikku came by after a little while of this. "Heya, guys. Watcha doin'?"

"Poking Hinata! Wanna help?"

"Sure!"

This continued for a while, with random people joining in, until Sakura, Chouji, a random squirrel, and Lulu (who is also from Final Fantasy) were also poking Hinata with sticks.

Eventually...

Hinata woke up and saw Kiba about to poke her open eyeball with a stick covered with what looked like Akamaru's excretion.

The next couple of seconds consisted of Hinata's eyes flashing in rage as she sliced Kiba's arm off of his shoulder with her deadly pressure point scythe technique. O. M. G.

"Holy $!!!!!!!!!" Kiba yelled, as his arm slid across the floor.

"Aw darn it..." said Sakura. "Now I'll be up yet another night making use of my talent to heal people's limbs...ah well, I guess this does mean I'm important!!"

"Don't get too full of yourself, Sakura, the Naruto fans need to see a lot more from you until you can actually be considered useful.." said the squirrel, who then bounced away.

Kiba took a moment from screaming in pain to ponder the question, "Did that squirrel just talk?!"

The squirrel turned around and hawked a lugie in his face.

"EWW!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Now Rikku had her hands tied behind her back, her ankles bound together, and was lying in a wheelbarrow as she admired the Mime JR card that was lying in the wheelbarrow beside her.

"Where is the stupid stash of mega-rare PokeMon cards?!?!" screamed Steve, obviously losing patience.

"Mime JR, I don't think Mr. Steve is being very polite, do you?" said Rikku to the card. "You don't either? Huh. Well, isn't that something. Maybe if Mr. Steve was a little nicer, I would tell him where the cards are. What's that? You want a cookie? Hey, Mr. Napoleon, do you have a cookie on your person?"

Napoleon stared off into space, then snickered before staring off again.

"... Heheh, R-Rikku..." Steve began, twitching. "Will you... _please_... tell us where the cards are?"

"Not until Mime JR gets his cookie!"

Cursing under his breath, Steve knelt down, grabbed some snow off the ground, and packed it into an elliptical shape. "Here. A snow cookie."

Rikku grabbed it and cautiously tasted it. "Eww. Tastes like water."

Steve twitched.

"Just tell us where the cards are, Rikku," said Agent C. "Then we'll get you a cookie-"

"But _I_ don't want the cookie. Mime JR does!

"...Okay, we'll get Mime JR a cookie, and we'll even get you Chimchar, Piplup, and Turtwig cards if you'll just tell u where the PokeMon cards are.

"...Really?" Rikku asked cautiously.

"Really."

"Reeeally?"

"Yes. Really."

"Ur-uh-EEALY?"

"YES, REALLY! FOR GOD'S SAKE, KID, TAKE US TO THE -bleep-ING POKEMON CARDS!"

Rikku frowned. "I don't know. Mr. Steve is being sorta meanish..."

"OH, MY -bleep-ING GOD! WHY THE -bleep- ARE WE PUTTING UP WITH THIS -bleep-??? I MEAN, SERIOUSLY!!! WHAT THE -bleeeeeeep-!?!?!?!?!?!"

"I'm not telling until Mr. Steve stops using the K+-rating sensor."

"GAAAAAAH!!!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Auron and Shino were in a large room filled with PokeMon cards.

"Hn, hn hmm grunt!" (Whoa, awesome!) said Shino.

"Hn grunt grunt hmm hnn." (I've been collecting for a long time, along with Yuna." Auron grunted proudly.

"Hmm hnn hn grunt grunt hn hm?" (And no one knows about this place except for you, Yuna, and Rikku?)

"Hnn hn!" (No one!)

"Hmm grunt!" (Awesome!)

Shino and Auron hugged again, amidst the thousands of PokeMon cards.

Unknown to them, their cards would soon be jeopardized...

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"RAAAGH!" I'LL GET YOU, SASUKE!!!!" screamed Chouji as he sped down the hill as fast as he could.

Sasu - I mean, Stewie - snorted. "Yes, yes, I'm sure, fat man."

"GYAHHHHHHHH! THAT'S IT! HUMAN BOULDER TECHNIQUE!!!!!"

With a big poof of smoke, now Chouji was rolling down the hill at high speed. Stewie grinned.

They were approaching a jump, Chouji was still rolling...

At the last possible second, Stewie swerved out of the way. Chouji hurtled off the jump...

Stewie watched, smirking, as Chouji flew through the air, over several trails and a ski lift, and smashed into a telephone pole.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" yelled Stewie, as he sped off again. "Now to find that wretched scientist Hinata Hyuuga, and get back to my land in this body!!!!"

**TBC...**

Hey, people. Sorry it took so long - over a month. I know it's a little short, too, but I was busy with finals and such. Plus I had massive writer's block. Please bear with me.

Also, I'm going away to summer camp in a few days. I'd really like to try and get the next chapter up before then, and since I'm totally out of ideas (again), feel free to file anything you think would be a good contribution to the story, and I'll gladly consider it!

Again, sorry for the late posting of this chapter. See ya soon!

-Natsyourlord


	10. Oprah Winfrey?

No, you are not hallucinating. The next chapter to Campfire Geeks is FINALLY up! WOOO!!! -Fanfare explodes in background- Yayz!

Super, super sorry. But after the summer, I sorta procrasinated. For a really long time. Like, three months long. So yeah. I'm sorry. DON'T EAT ME, I WAS PLANNING TO UPDATE EVENTUALLY!! RAAAGH!

Now, unfortunately, I have started my new co-written story, Who Wants To Be A Ninja, so that will be consuming some of my time. My estimate is that this will be updates once every two-four weeks. But I'm a huge procrasinator, so I'm really not making any promises.

I don't want to delay anyone any further, so now we will once again commence the fantasmic story that is... -pause for dramatic effect- CAMPFIRE GEEKS!!!

**OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Crap!" screamed Rikku as the Mime JR card got wheeled away from her. "Now me and Mime JR aren't together anymore!"

Steve seized an innocent snowman and twisted the head off. "TELL US WHERE THE MOTHER-bleep-ING CARDS ARE!!"

Rikku pouted. "I _told _you already. I'm not telling until you stop using the K+ rating censor! The noise hurts my ears!"

Agent C sighed. "Maybe we should just give it up," he said sadly.

"NO!" screamed Steve, foaming at the mouth. "WE NEED THOSE CARDS! I HAVE A COLLEGE TUITION TO PAY!!!"

OoOoOoOoOoO

Sakura was crying about her utter worthlessness.

"I'm not worthless," she said aloud like they do in sitcoms. "I've just been comparitively inactive for a super long time! That's gotta be it!"

"Yeah," said Sakura's stuffed penguin called Bob. "Everything will be okay, Sakura. Kishimoto just has to... you know... start liking you."

"Exactly," agreed Sakura's teddy bear by the name of Sue. "If the writer doesn't like you, not much is going to happen."

"So first you have to actually do something," said Sakura's stuffed elephant named Nagai-Hana-Oogata-Jibiinkouka-san. "Then Kishimoto will like you, and then BILLIONS of people will like you. But for right now, you suck."

"Uh-huh," agreed Bob.

Sakura buried her face in her hands. "You know you've hit rock-bottom when even your stuffed animals hate you," she sighed.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Jack had finally found the Holy Muffin.

"Hurray!" he yelled. "Holy Muffin, why do you keep running away from me?"

The Holy Muffin motioned for Jack to follow it.

"But if I let you go, you'll run away again!" Who knew he could actually be smart?

The Holy Muffin sighed and held out its pinkie.

"Pinkie swear?"

The muffin nodded. "Hallelujah!"

"Okay." Jack locked fingers with the muffin. The muffin then wriggled out of his grasp and, pulling on Jack's pant leg, led him into another room containing...

"The Oprah Winfrey Show?!"

OoOoOoOoOoO

Shikamaru and Ino were STILL stuck on the ski lift.

"I'm thinking of a number between one and ten," sighed Ino.

"Five."

"Nope."

"I don't know. Seven?"

"Nope."

"I don't want to play this troubl- this _idiotic_ game anymore. I'm freakin' bored."

"Me, too."

Shikamaru peered down over their skis and the safety bar. "Hey, Ino, it looks like we could jump down from here. It's only about seven feet to the ground."

"But we have skis and ski boots on!" (For those of you who don't know, skis are very awkward unless you're acutally skiing with them, and ski boots are stiff and hard to move in.)

"Yeah... but maybe if we took off the skis first, then right before we hit the ground we began to roll so as to soften our impact. That would make the fall a lot easier on our legs."

Ino grinned. "Okay, let's do it!"

So they did exactly that. But it still hurt a little bit.

"WOO! We're finally free!" yelled Ino. She punched the air.

"Yeah, but don't you find it a little odd that we made it off that easily?"

"What do you mean?"

Shikamaru looked scared. "Well, think about it. Right about now there should be something happening to us. Something horrendously frightning. That also doesn't make any sense."

"You're right," mused Ino. " We're probably going to die some sort of terrible, terrible death by a kajillion Naruto clones with sticks or something."

"Oh, crap!" they yelled in unison, and skiied away screaming.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Why are we on the Oprah Winfrey show?!" yelled Jack, staring at the said woman who was sitting on a couch in front of cameras.

"Welcome to THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW," said a disturbing voice, and Oprah smiled as she began to read her cue cards.

"Hello, and welcome. Today on Oprah - that's me - we're going to be talking to a young Holy Muffin and its parent/guardian, Jack the Pie Thrower. "Come on over here, you two!" She fake-smiled and motioned for them to take a seat. The Holy Muffin sat down, and Jack did as well, though cautiously.

Oprah turned her fake-smile back to the camera. "So, Holy Muffin. Tell us, what sort of dysfunctional issues that landed you on this show in the first place do you have with Jack here?"

The Holy Muffin whipped a pad of paper out of nowhere and scribbled down a note. It held it up to Oprah, who read it aloud. "I feel sad because my parent/guardian, Jack, seems to want to be around me 24/7. And I can't tell him because I'm a muffin. I shouldn't be able to talk in the first place! But instead, all I can say is 'Hallelujah'. It makes me very depressed."

A random guy behind the cameras pressed a button, and the place was filled with recorded sounds of sympathy. He pressed it again, and the sounds died down.

"This show is decieving millions of people every day," muttered Jack.

Oprah whipped around to him. Her fake-smile was replaced with a glare. "SHUT UP, BOY, OR I'LL TRANSFORM INTO DR. PHOPRAH." Then she turned back to the camera and smiled again.

"I th-th-thought Dr. Phoprah was just a story... to scare little kids!" whispered Jack fearfully.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Hey, where's Jack?" asked Naruto to Stewie-in-Sasuke's-body. "I haven't seen him in a while."

"Is that the dolt with the annoying muffin?" asked Stewie.

"Yeah."

"That muffin must be terminated!!" screamed Stewie. He whipped out a plasma gun. "And I shall be the one to do it... yes, yes indeed..."

"Did you hit your head or something?"

"SILENCE, YOU IGNORANT FOOL!" Stewie yelled, and clonked Naruto over the head with the plasma gun. Naruto fainted. Then Stewie ran off, laughing evilly.

Meanwhile, Hinata had been stalking Naruto the whole time. She saw him faint, cackled maniacally, then grabbed him by the ankles and dragged him into a broom closet.

**OoOoOoOoOoO**

YEA! Done! Now I gotsa go work on Who Wants To Be A Ninja. Very very busy nowadays. Later!

-Natsyourlord


End file.
